Nina Hayes

On this weeks broadcast...

This week on Aurors Investigate we are following Nina Hayes, head Auror and her team of highly experienced interns as they stake out St Mungo’s Hospital!
Why would they be choosing to stake out this particular location, we can almost hear you ask! Well that is indeed an important question, yet when we asked Nina, she abruptly and dare we say rudely informed us it was classified information. Her exact words were, and I quote “No, you may not. It’s bad enough I have to deal with a team of reporters following my every step, I do not need you asking unhelpful questions as well.” However unkind words never stopped anyone, certainly not us so with our quills poised and camera’s aloof we continued hot on the heels of finely worn dragonhide boots.
11:52am Upon arrival, we saw a typical St Mungo’s, looking tragic from the outside in hopes to keep nosy muggles away. “Honestly, you’d think they could at least clean it up!” But before we could complain further about the sorry state of the place our cameras were swinging around in the direction of the interns. Hopeless creatures that they were had decided to wear their Auror robes in public! The shock… the horror! Which of course had attracted a swarm (horde, group, fill blank for the collective noun of muggles). The muggles were clearly intrigued by the clothing and now pointy sticks (we like to call them wands) and completely surrounded us, if not for the sharp thinking of Nina I'm not sure how we would have escaped.

~redacted story of how we escaped and got distracted by the muggles.~ At this point the swarm of muggles was beginning to advance. They had things in their hands that had light! But they were shaped like bricks - thin bricks, with a range of colours! “Perhaps not the best comparison, but I suppose you get the meaning!” They waved them at us, and spoke quickly. Asking if we were filming an rebooted episode of Morgana, whatever that is! Someone, one of the interns, even started trying to talk to them and ask questions. That was at least until someone, probably Nina, set off a big flash of light. Suddenly Nina was shouting for us all to gather round, with a portkey in hand it was clear what we were to do next. Everyone but Nina grabbed on and we were swooshed away back to the Ministry. A team of obliviators were ready waiting and we quickly swapped positions, with them using the same portkey to return. “What happened after we are not entirely sure we can accurately recount but we are sure your imaginations will fill in the blanks.”

12:42 pm Now at a new stakeout position, and with everyone appropriately dressed we continued to wait and watch for something..anything to happen!

12:56 pm Auror Intern, or perhaps trainee Mike Russell, was the first to spot something akin to suspicious behaviour. Out of the corner of his eye, or so he tells it, he had spotted a yellow object moving. “Now we of course have no idea what ‘we’ are supposed to be watching for, so while this yellow object may seem tedious and irrelevant, we assure you that it was suspicious to a trained trainee eye!”
12:58 pm After tracking this movement, Mike decided further action would be required so he collected a few fellow trainees and slowly they crept over to the site of all the action. BANG! “Sorry, that was the camera bulb!” Terrifying but unrelated noise aside the trainees continued their approach on the yellow thing which had started moving more erratically following the loud noise, “again, we are sorry, and yes we know better know.”
12:59 pm Mike pounced, jumping and landing on the yellow thing. It let out a squawk, the yellow thing, not Mike. Although another trainee swears Mike also made a similar noise.
1:01 pm Mike revealed the yellow thing, it was a canary. Nina scolded him “it was nice to have the heat away from us for once!” The canary was thankfully mostly unharmed, or at least nothing a quick ‘enervate’ couldn’t unfix.
1:04 pm The remaining trainees skulked back to the hideout spot, and settled back down.
1:07 pm Everyone started to get restless. We took some photos of the sleeping intern, but Nina saw us. We lost our camera privileges.
1:09 pm “Turns out stake outs are tedious, boring and seemingly pointless, not to mention how they hold exactly zero journalist relevance nor are they any real use of our amazing skill and capabilities. So we did what any sensible person would do, we left.”