Date Right!

I decided to interview Cana Havich for this week as he had a lot of great answers to what to do in a relationship and his opinions on what he thinks is important in a relationship.

Emma: What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?

Cana: Understanding of each other, including your faults and foibles. Trust is also important, but that comes largely from understanding each other.

Emma: How important do you think communication is?

Cana: Extremely important. Lack of communication can rot a relationship from the inside, definitely. If nothing else, not talking about what's bothering you really makes resentment build up. You can't build a necessary understanding of each other if you don't talk to each other.

Emma: Have you ever hit a bump in your relationship and had to think for a while about how to handle it?

Cana: Everyone hits bumps if you're together long enough. But I've honestly never had one in this relationship where I've had to reevaluate my choices at all. A cooling down period can be important though, so you can find your words and sort out legitimate feelings from feelings of anger.

Emma: How do you think one should act when they are in a relationship?

Cana: Exactly the same way you always behave, just with more patience and consideration.

Emma: How important do you think it is to have nights planned to spend time with the one your in a relationship with?

Cana: Very important! It can seem a bit tired to schedule time, but when you get older with more obligations, such things become very important to keeping a relationship healthy.

Emma: Do you think it's important to surprise the one your with every once in a while?

Cana: Yes definitely. Because it's still important for them to know you're thinking of them throughout your day.

Emma: What's your personal advice you would give to someone having relationship trouble?

Cana: Don't complain about them to your friends unless it's super serious (i.e. they are mistreating you). You need people who will support you when things actually get bad, not people who will reinforce all of your angry thoughts. You should also get a neutral party if necessary, like a mutual friend or a couples' therapist.

Emma: What's your idea of a perfect date?

Cana: Bookstore date! Go to the bookstore, pick out two or three books you think the other person would like, and buy them for them. Then read the books together and talk them over in the coming weeks.

Emma: What would your advice be for someone in a relationship who constantly questions themselves wondering if they deserve to be in a relationship cause they have low self-esteem?

Cana: The people who do not deserve to be in relationships are people who mistreat their partners. Everybody else deserves a chance to find the type of relationship they want. Low self-esteem however, can get toxic, if you're constantly questioning why that person cares about you, so be careful not to let it become that!

Thank you Cana for being the first person I interview for this blog, You had a lot of great answers and it was fun getting to interview you.

This blog post has been written by: Emma Nightingale